I've Journaled for Most of My Life
Journaling! At the bottom of my closet I keep my entire life's worth of journals. Depending on how you cut it, I could be approaching 20 years now, or am already well past that. Slight warning: Occasionally mentioning more depressing/mental illness stuff but this is a light hearted post. Nothing specific, just the fact that its there.
You can't see them all, some are pretty tiny, but there's 47 filled notebooks here. At the end and not included in the count is a couple dream-recording-books and filled planners. I've technically filled 49 but I destroyed two of them because I was a very mentally unwell teenager. Nothing of real value was lost, but I still regret it. Such a small percentage already was before my 20s, and I lowered the number even more! Oh well.
confession: The first giant green/white notebook is actually only about halfway full. I got sick of it + the binding started falling apart. The rest are full though! It was a good cut off point anyway, that was right when I graduated high school.
Before the real start
I always had some sort of diary/journal, it was just another fun thing that I occasionally did, another form of play. I probably learned about diaries from TV, if I had to guess. Teenage girl accidentally taking her diary full of her deepest thoughts to school where it gets lost and read by anybody and everybody!!! Oh no!!! 7~ish year olds don't really have all that much to talk about though, so even if I had manufactured drama I don't think much would have come of it. From what I recall the childhood diary entries were mostly single thought blurbs like "I did this today" and/or "I love [concept/object/person]".
I remember a tiny (I think maybe around 4x6 inches?) yet fat pink lock diary (the lock was lost pretty soon after starting it). I also remember a A5~ish sized spiral notebook, with a thick black plastic spine and a clear blue plastic front cover. Both of these were never even near filled. They contained made up stories and random drawings, as well as real diary entries. I remember that on the first page of the blue notebook I had drawn a tall tower, like a Rapunzel tower. There was a girl in the tower, but it wasn't Rapunzel. Water flowed from the window instead of hair.
Confession 2: I still have not learned the various paper sizes. If I ever mention them, it's because I just looked it up in the moment.
This is the oldest notebook that I still own, started at age 8 (I brought this up a lot? I guess kids do mention their age a lot in general.) No dates to be seen. I love this notebook a lot. It's a smooth, matte hardcover and the giraffe is layered sheets of foam. It has no copyright or other label anywhere.
My room did not [stay] clean forever. Also that's how I drew my coconut head haircut.
Most entries are from me being 8, a few at 9, and then I started giving once-per-age updates up until I was 18; because I'm not immune to corny-ass sentimentality. This does also mean that this notebook is also not filled, despite being considered finished, oops.
When I started journaling for real
In 7th grade in English class the teacher read one of the Amelia's Notebook (I'm gonna assume it was Amelia's 7th-Grade Notebook, but I don't actually remember) books to the class and then made us do an assignment of making own diary page in the same style. I simultaneously felt like it was really childish but also adorable and seemed fun. I ended up also reading a good chunk of the series at the library after, too.
Mine was a lot less charming. I put in the effort to cover the branding (may have been OfficeMax?) as a "labels annoy me" choice, not an aesthetic one. You can tell it was not an aesthetic one because I did not put in the effort to do so neatly. or flat. or center the sticker on top.
My journals were a lot less cute, way less legible, and had far fewer drawings. Also oddly... censored? I talked about SOME stuff that was bothering me, but not everything. I didn't talk about most super negative things beyond stating they happened. I suppose middle schoolers aren't known for their introspection, though. It was mostly how the day went/what was on my mind in particular in that moment. If I had to guess, I think the Amelia's notebook series stopped being an active inspiration within a year. It just turned into my journal that I drew in because of course I did, as art was my main hobby. I think the disconnect happened because I struggle a lot with mental illness so it inevitably got so grim so fast that like... yeah that's not a childrens book LMAO. Also I straight up forgot until a friend asked me like 2 years ago, and I had to sit down and think about why I started keeping a diary in the first place.
I wrote entries less often during summer vacation (lots of youtube and video games to be consumed.) and was never on a schedule. Sometimes I'd write daily, sometimes I'd go months without anything. There was no real pattern beyond it being a little more common at night, when there was nothing else to do. In high school 2-4 AM writing sessions became so common I started labeling with the time of day for context. This habit has stayed with me, I have a permanent record of how poorly I sleep ğŸ˜.
My journaling process now
After becoming an adult I just continued my trend of writing whatever, whenever. I usually write about what I did since the last update, what's bothering me, attempting to logic my way through emotions, stuff I have coming up. It's a strange mixture of objective and very emotional. I think the two most average types of entries are "this happened (or may happen) and I want to pick it apart and see what went wrong (or what could go wrong)" and stream-of-consciousness "Have to do laundry. OK laundry now in machine. Need to wash hair before I sleep tonight, I know I'm gonna be tired in the morning. Get to try my new soap, yay. D&D is soon, I should eat before then."
I don't make myself write daily, but I get pretty close naturally. Anymore, I think the longest I go without writing is about a week. I like recounting and reflecting on things like trips and other outings. I don't take a journal with me on trips, I'd rather just sit down and write when I have time at home.
I draw a lot less pictures now, they're usually just there to be more efficient than words (the design of piece of furniture I liked, the shape of a cardigan I want to knit, explaining the layout of a building, etc.) I definitely still draw an ugly little chibi me looking exhausted/frustrated when relevant, though. Also I love writing/drawing hauls.
I don't do collages or "junk journal" but I do tape various extra things inside pretty frequently. Sometimes its the label of something I bought, because that's easier than drawing/explaining the object. I put things like museum tickets in. I've put (parts of) the cute packaging of stuff I was really excited about. Sometimes; just for variety, I write my thoughts on a letter set, fold up the letter inside the envelope, and tape the envelope to the page. If someone I know has made me a cute drawing/card/note I'll put it in. I've sprayed cardstock with perfume and taped it inside (I don't think it'll last more than maybe a month, though.) Stickers and washi tape are not my favoritest things ever but I'll decorate pages sometimes, too.
What journaling does for me
It's a hobby. It's a habit, in that it's my instinct when I have too much rolling around in my head. It's a place to be emotional without judgement from others. I tend to write when I'm bored or upset, so looking back usually isn't the best choice; but there is some insight to be had from it occasionally. I remember a few years ago, during a particularly bad couple of months, I decided to flip back through and find the pattern. Turns out I'm very prone to breakdowns after specifically 2+ days of sleeping poorly in a row. 🤔 Shocking. Paper and pen is a good way to visually organize and process feelings. It's a good place to complain about something that you've complained about multiple times already (but every time you remember it, it still gets you super heated, so you gotta go off again)
What would my life be like without journaling? My handwriting would be even worse. I'd be equally prone to ruminating; but without the extra "untangling" step, I think it would be harder to snap out of it. I would remember equal amounts of things, but without journals, I would never be able to relearn them. I would be equally stupid. I would be a lot more emotionally immature and inconsiderate of others. I think I'd be prone to random emotional breakdowns from lack of outlet. So, net good it's in my life.
Journals VS Planners
As of the past several years, I keep both planners and journals. I tried maybe once for a week to do a bullet journal, I can't stand "hiding" important information. Now, I have my journal, a plain notebook, for my thoughts and feelings. I also have a planner (currently a horizontal weekly spread one) that sits clipped open on my desk at all times. The planner has appointments, events (birthdays, D&D), chores, daily tracked stuff (perfume usage, shower/hair, periods, habit-building, etc.) The planner's a logistical need, the journal an emotional one. They are two totally separate entities for me.
Notebooks of Note
This is a Quillmark fabric-covered hardcover journal from 1986. (with some giant leaflet stuffed inside.) It either belonged to my grandmother or great aunt, it was handed down to me in 2005 iirc. I didn't use it until 2018. This was a case of "saving" the nice object for the non-existent perfect circumstances until I asked myself wtf was I doing. Use your nice stuff! I don't regret enjoying a cute journal!
A 2003 Hello Kitty diary for children that I found in a thrift store. It's a cardstock cover with a clear vinyl cover on top.
My least and most favorite notebooks; at least in terms of my user experience. Left is some random little Traveler's Notebook knockoff. I hated not having lined paper, and how narrow/not-flat the pages were made it feel cramped. This particular one alternated cream and kraft colored paper which was kind of cute but just got annoying to periodically have to find a different pen.
Right is the Kokuyo Campus soft ring notebook. The paper is nice and smooth, and its a nice size (B5). It has dotted line ruling, which has become my favorite style. The soft rings are, in fact, soft. I've used two so far and would always be happy to get more. I think this section is a really good example of how Type-A I am. Squares! Flat! Straight Lines! Practical! Simple! Clean!
My smallest notebook, 9x13cm. (and a Zebra Sarasa Clip for comparison.) My sister randomly gave it to me, I'm assuming it came for free with something else. The cover was pretty ugly, a very 2000s "traveling girl" design with the random landmarks/postage stamps/random cursive phrases/a passport stamp on it. I've always hated that aesthetic LOL. So I covered it with some random wrapping paper from my parents basement. It lasted from January 30th to February 2nd, 2025.
Two notebooks (Gilded Floral and Persian Grove) from Peter Pauper Press. They're gorgeous, I love them. They don't sit QUITE as flat as I would love, but also I was erring on the gentle side. It's been a couple years, I think now I'd be more willing to obliterate those spines.
Periodically I end up using standard American spiral-bound or composition notebooks. They're totally adequate, I like them. To make them a touch more memorable I usually cover them in wrapping paper, like these two. You can tell both that I like old lady florals, and that my parents have a decent supply of vintage wrapping paper.
Other noteworthy ones:
- Hobonichi Cousin: I asked for one for as an early birthday gift in 2023. I really thought I was going to keep a diary and then write full day tracking/planning/retrospectives in this daily spread. Eventually I accepted reality, put my current notebook on pause, and then spent the rest of the year using it as a dated diary. Full pages were satisfying to look at but also kind of looked insane. For mine, I just bought a clear vinyl MD cover to put on top. I do love the paper/feel a lot, though.
- Kokuyo Campus Half-Size notebook: I had a cramped desk at the time and this seemed perfect. Except I tilt pages to write, so it ended up being kind of moot with the flat-lay spine. This was a good idea in theory, and looking at Jetpens now there's spiral versions available, which would probably work out a lot better.
- Midori Soft Color Notebook (in gray): Dude I felt so old using this. I could only see the dots in the absolute brightest lighting. The grey ended up being a touch darker than I would have liked, though I did like the actual paper feel a lot.
- Midori Color Paper Notebook (in purple): I think this was the predecessor the previous notebook line. I liked the paper a lot, both feel and color, but also remember it feeling just a touch too small for me price-value wise.
- Various Pen+Gear notebooks: If you can find one without a stupid quote on the front, they're surprisingly nice for the price point.
I have no idea where to put this fact but it feels worthwhile to add somewhere to this post: Obviously there's HUGE variation but very generally an average sized notebook takes me about 3 months to fill.
Other relevant supplies
Pens: I like to try new things. The two things I look out for most in a pen is 1.) Fast-drying, 2.) no bleedthrough/ghosting.
Confession 3: This does mean that I do not care for fountain pens. Also, I like fine points more + do not have fountain pen/ink money in general. I'm sorry! Fake stationery fan! I respect them but... not for me.
I use gel pens most often. I always appreciate ballpoints. I don't care for most felt-tip pens, but I want to try more before giving a more final judgement. I love rollerballs in theory but for some reason they always have such uncomfortable grips. I like pigment art markers but only use them for art, my brain refuses to let me write with them for some reason.
- Zebra Sarasa Clips: I'm currently getting through both vintage color sets. I've enjoyed these pens. I don't care for writing with red ink that much, so 2 red pens between both sets is kind of a bummer, but the inks are very pleasant shades in general. My favorite color that I've used so far is the lighter blue-grey from set 1.
- Bic Round Stic: Just a shoutout, I think this is really underappreciated for dirt cheap ballpoints. Especially the M size (which isn't that big with a lighter touch), they have incredibly smooth ink flow.
- Pentel RSVP (in pink): My favorite ballpoint ever, it lasted over a year of daily use.
- Pilot Hi-Tec-C Maica (in brown): My first "nicer" writing pen. Farewell my love 💔. Hi-tec-C's are kind of scratchy IME, but I liked it nonetheless.
- Zebra Mildliners: Not a pen but I feel like I should mention them since I use them quite often. Coloring pictures, color-coding things, actual highlighting.
Sticky Things: I usually use cheap clear tape ("gift" variety- the glossy finish is less opaque) and a fat Elmer's glue stick. They're both totally serviceable. I like stickers but don't use them that often beyond one or two decorating the empty space of a page. I don't like sticker bombing and purposely try keep a limited amount of stickers, knowing I don't use them that fast.
- interjecting: the Bande washi tape sticker rolls are so good. I have the wisteria and the mushroom ones. I feel like I will never use them up. You do have to be dedicated to the 6-10 designs each roll is limited to, but there's a lot of options and they're all quite agreeable. Plus, they're washi tape physically, so you can move them around as wanted/needed.
I'm not super into washi tape in general. It's cute but it feels like I'm just trying to use it up. I like the thinner ones, and I like to use them most as a horizontal rule to clean up a page. Most often though, I just put a strip vertically at the margin to decorate.
My ugly bookmark:
Look at it. Side A: vintage goose wrapping paper (the eye, beak, and feet are metallic gold). Side B: vintage fleshy pink with rainbow speckle glitter wrapping paper. I glued them to a scrap of watercolor paper in maybe 2019? and I've been using it for my journal since. It does its job, what more could I ask for?
Otherwise, in terms of bookmarks: I have & really enjoy, but rarely use my Book Darts. I read very infrequently, and even more rarely it's a physical book. I have various designs of page markers and usually go to those first. Sticky page markers are some of my favorite designed stationery in general, I want to think of more uses for them 🥲.
I feel like I need a concluding section
Things I wish I did when I do look back in my journals:
- Mention mundane specifics. What I almost impulse bought at the store, what song I'm listening to, that interaction with the dog earlier.
- More vivid descriptions in general
- More positive stuff. Yes because I need more positivity in the moment, but also it's just more fun to get reminded of cute/funny stuff.
- This has been a problem for the last... year for some reason? I say like so much dude. I have no idea what started it. It's
liketwice per sentence sometimes. - Draw more pictures, they're fun.
- Write neater, holy moly.
I'm anything but an expert in this but I've had a couple people in my life ask either "how [I] stay so consistent" or "how can [they] start keeping a journal". Again, I don't write every day. I write when I want, which just happens to be most days LOL.
Real answer: work with yourself. Maybe journaling for you looks like giant blocks of Edwardian script love letters you wish you could send. Maybe it looks like a to do list with a cat drawn in the corner. Maybe it looks like hourly updates as you try to keep your motivation up through whatever project. Maybe its chaotic notes everywhere of you tinkering with every little thing about your Pathfinder character until its perfect. I think a lot of people get really stuck on EVERY DAY. Maybe consider moving your goal to "fill this notebook". It's still a clear finish line, but there is no streak to break and then lose all motivation because you failed your goal of writing literally everyday for the rest of forever.
Some variation of the word "journal" occurred 24 times in this post, less than it feels like!